Media for Meaningful Conversations
Watching or listening to TV or movies this winter? The media is where so many of us get information about what is "normal" when it comes to dating, beauty and body image, friendships, relationships, boundaries, and more. But, what TV, movies, and social media present as "normal" may not be what most people's experiences are – and it definitely doesn't always show what we should be striving for. That's why watching or listening to media together can be an awesome entry point into conversations about sexual health topics such as healthy relationships and communication, boundaries, and imagining what we might do in certain situations.
Prompts to start a conversation with a friend or family member:
Does this [romantic, platonic, familial, work] relationship seem healthy to you? What are some signs that it is healthy or unhealthy?
What do you think of how [these characters] are dealing with conflict?
How did you feel watching [scene]? What scenes made you feel [emotion/bodily sensation (click for list)]?
What would you do if you were in [character]'s position? What would you say or do? How would you react?
What do you think of how [identity] is represented? What is accurate and what leans too heavily on stereotypes?
How did you feel watching [scene]? What scenes made you feel [emotion/bodily sensation]?
What kind of support would you want if you were in [character]'s situation? If your friend/family was in that situation, how would you support them?
How did you see [character] set their boundary? How might you feel in that situation? How might you feel afterward?
How could [characters] have communicated better? What might be different in this situation if they had?
A lot of questions ask about feelings - here's a list of feelings and sensations that can be helpful to reference.
Check out resources for starting conversations with your family members here.
We also love when the stuff we're watching and listening to includes authentic representations of disabled folks. Below is a list of different forms of media that include or focus on disabled people and feature them in romantic, platonic, and familial relationships.
Below is the title of the media, the recommended age (with a link to a more detailed description of the content of the show by Common Sense Media, a resource for family- and age-appropriate media), and the platform it is streaming on. Most media is available for purchase else where – Google search “watch [name of media]” to find where you can watch it and at what cost!
Content notes are provided for each, with a link to a website where people answer what content it has that could potentially be triggering.
Atypical (13+, show streaming on Netflix)
Content notes: kissing, discussions of sex, cheating, ableism, illness, weed and alcohol use, minor car accident, covert abuse, flashing lights (s1e8)
Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution (15+, movie streaming on Netflix)
Content notes: ableism, abuse, drugs, mental institution, sexual content, sexual assault
Crip Camp Panel: Let’s Talk about Sex: Our Bodies, Our Lives & Reproductive Justice
password: 4R*7%2^7
Love on the Spectrum (14+, show streaming on Netflix)
Content notes: kissing, dating, briefly shown panic attack, spiders, snakes, discussion of ableism
My Beautiful Stutter (10+, movie streaming on Discovery+ and to rent elsewhere)
Content notes: mention of attempted suicide and self-harm, 3 instances of cursing
Sex Education (16+, show streaming on Netflix)
Content notes: sexual content, discussion of sex and masturbation, addiction referenced, weed and alcohol use, sexual harrassment, cheating, discussion of being stalked, injury (s2e1), cat dies (s3Ee), bagged goldfish (s2e2), vomit, abortion, panic attack, body dysmorphia, crying baby, homophobia, emotional abuse, neglect
Special (15+, show streaming on Netflix)
Content notes: sexual content, weed and alcohol use, ableism, car accident
Speechless (12+, show streaming on Hulu)
Content notes: alcohol, snake, cheating, vomit, hospitals, ableism, fatphobia
More media with dynamic representations of disabled folks:
Shows
Sesame Street (2+)
Pablo (5+)
The Casagrandes (7+)
Avatar: The Last Airbender (8+)
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (8+)
Movies
descriptions from 28 Movies, Books, TV Shows (and More) That Explore Disability Culture by New York Times staff members
Run (13+, streaming on Hulu)
Content notes: abuse, gaslighting, kidnapping, unseen death of child, gagging, hospitals, needles, self harm, anxiety attacks, ableism, gun, blood, asthma attack
With “Run,” Kiera Allen was the first wheelchair-using actor to star in a major feature thriller since Susan Peters’ role in John Sturges’ “The Sign of the Ram” in 1948. About a mother (Sarah Paulson) with Munchausen syndrome by proxy and her mysteriously sick daughter (Allen), “Run” integrates the normalcy of a wheelchair-using person’s day-to-day routines and Allen’s own experience as a wheelchair user to show that using one is not a hindrance, while also introducing a new generation to wheelchair-using actors on the big screen. Allen told The Chronicle last year of her casting, “to be a part of that moment is really exciting. Authentic representation is so important.”
Sound of Metal (15+, streaming on Prime Video)
Content notes: addiction referenced, flashing lights at beginning of film (first 5 minutes), some shaky cam, scratching as self harm and scars, tattoo of bug and clown, parent death referenced, spit, hospital/small portion of surgery, suicide referenced, anxiety attack/fits of rage, “g*psy” used incorrectly
Aside from Riz Ahmed, Olivia Cooke and Paul Raci, a child of deaf adults, the cast of Darius Marder’s “Sound of Metal” (2019), which includes Jeremy Lee Stone, Lauren Ridloff, Chelsea Lee and Shaheem Sanchez, is largely deaf, providing a rare glimpse into the deaf community in narrative feature cinema. By entering a sober living environment for the hearing-impaired, Ahmed’s character and, by transitive property, the audience, gets a sense of what it’s like to adjust to hearing loss, find a deaf community in a hearing-favored world and communicate through sign language. Perhaps most groundbreaking about the film’s representation is that its cast is as diverse as the real-world deaf community: Ahmed is British Pakistani, Sanchez is Latino, Ridloff and Stone are Black, and Lee identifies as queer.
Comedians
descriptions from 28 Movies, Books, TV Shows (and More) That Explore Disability Culture by New York Times staff members
Danielle Perez
Perez, who describes herself on her website as “the woman in a wheelchair, with no feet, who won a treadmill on ‘The Price Is Right,’” jokes about race, dating and life as an amputee.
Josh Blue
Blue puts his self-deprecating wit on display in shows like “Sticky Change” on Amazon Prime Video, and on tour. His confrontational stance with his cerebral palsy reflects a sentiment common among many disabled people: that they should not be defined by disability.
Zach Anner
Anner, who has cerebral palsy — “the sexiest of palsies” — muses on life on his YouTube channel. Anner gained fame when he won the reality competition “Your OWN Show: Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star,” and became the host of the travel show “Rollin’ With Zach.”