It’s Time #WeStartedTheConvo

Written By Kayla McKean

Receive prizes from DSHN for posting anything on social media about your experience having a conversation with your family about sexual health topics and tag #WeStartedTheConvo! (if on private, email us a screenshot)

Read on for important considerations as winter and the holidays come around, and resources on starting and having the conversation…

As the holidays roll around, the weather gets cold, and we continue social distancing and other safety measures, youth may be spending even more time at home and with family. DSHN Youth Advisors shared stresses that arise around the holidays: larger family gatherings may put youth in the situation of being expected to hug or talk to family members even if they aren't comfortable with it, and may require them to navigate conversations that feel invasive, overly careful, or offensive in other ways.

It's important that youth know they have the right to set boundaries and for others to respect them, and close family members can model these behaviors and help them maintain their own boundaries.

Arrested development gif "Why are you squeezing me with your body?"

Lucille hugs Michael who says "Why are you squeezing me with your body" with his arms at his sides. (Arrested Development, GIPHY)

Parent/caregiver responses model acceptable behavior to youth, and offer the chance to help your child feel safe, respected, and like they can trust and look up to you… Here are some ways you might do this:

  • asking for consent before hugging a family member

  • repeating your child's boundaries to people who may cross them, and saying something if they do

  • asking a family member to lay off the questioning about who they're dating

    • we honor that they will share when they feel ready to, and we can show them that they will be accepted when they do regardless of what gender(s) they may be attracted to by using gender neutral language such as 'partner'

  • speaking up or changing the topic when a family member says something offensive to the child's lived experience

 According to research:

  • 38% of teens report that parents are the biggest influence on their decisions about sex, while only 22% say their biggest influence is their friends. [1, 2]

  • 87% of teens say it would be easier to delay sex and avoid pregnancy if they could have more open conversations about it with their parents. [1, 2]

  • Teens who report having good conversations with their parents about sex are more likely to delay sex, have fewer partners, and use condoms and other birth control when they do have sex. [1, 3, 4]

Being at home more also means more time for youth and their family members to start conversations about sexual health topics. It's normal to be stressed about how to bring something up or respond to a young person if they do, so we decided to put together a list of resources for starting and having these important conversations. A little information can turn what appear to be awkward and intimidating conversations into opportunities for connection and empowerment.  

If that's not enough of a reward, DSHN will send swag to anyone who shares about their conversation and tags #WeStartedTheConvo and @dshn_va.  (if on private, email dshn@jmu.edu a screenshot)

In your post or story on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, we welcome you to share whatever you're comfortable with...here are some prompts: 

  • what sparked/motivated the conversation

  • how it felt to talk about this

  • what you learned by both listening and informing

  • pictures of you both before and after the conversation

  • screenshot of a video you watched or a powerful quote that came out of the convo

  • a meme with your feelings before and after the convo

  • what parents' parents told them about sex vs. what you discussed

This is a great opportunity to celebrate and learn from each other as we have conversations that may be new for many of us!

Screenshots of example posts and the goodies one will receive if they post and tag/email us (stim toy, lunch box, notepad, pen, soap, coozie, dry bag)

Image description: Top right corner in purple text reads “you tag #WeStartedTheConvo in a (public) social media post… (if private, send us a screenshot)” to the left of two screenshots of example posts. A purple arrow points from the posts to a picture of the goodies one will receive if they post and tag/email us. Above the goodies picture reads “We send you DSHN goodies! (stim toy, lunch box, notepad, pen, soap, coozie, dry bag).”

Example posts:

Instagram post by "young_person" with a screenshot of a smiling parent and child on FaceTime. Caption reads: "I was nervous to ask my mom questions about sexual health because we've never talked about it before, but today #WeStartedTheConvo. She didn't have all the answers, but she said she would work on finding out the information she didn't know, and she shared advice and experiences that surprisingly - weren't awkward and actually made us feel more connected!! Being able to talk over FaceTime also helped us both be comfy @dshn_va"

Facebook post by "Askable Parent" with a meme of a man tapping his head and looking knowingly at the camera. The meme says “If I don’t have this conversation with my kids, someone else will (and might give them harmful/false info)” in yellow text. The caption reads: "Today at the dinner table, #WeStartedTheConvo talked about consent and healthy relationships. I know my kids watch TV shows that don't represent this stuff in the best way, so we talked about what makes them feel respected and how to communicate that to others and ask others' their needs. I hope that this convo reminds them that they can come to me with their questions and I won't judge them!"

Resources for starting the conversation

Please reach out to dshn@jmu.edu to share resources that would be useful for folks in our network, or for more resources on any specific topic.

Tip: Use YouTube's media player controls to make videos more accessible. Find out how at the links below:


for using media as an entry point:

for young people to learn from (share these with the young people in your life!)

for parents, caretakers, and professionals to consult to navigate these conversations with youth

tips for young people to talk with adults in their life


This content originally appeared in DSHN’s monthly newsletter. Click here to view previous newsletters and sign up to receive future newsletters from the Disability-inclusive Sexual Health Network.

Kayla McKean
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December 2021 Newsletter
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Media for Meaningful Conversations