Hey there! In this email we will share:
- the #WeStartedTheConvo challenge
- resources for starting sexual health convos with your family
- stages of sexual development
- our October Instagram highlights
- upcoming events
You can always connect with DSHN in other ways, too:
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It's time #WeStartedTheConvo
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Receive prizes from DSHN for posting anything on social media about your experience having a conversation with your family about sexual health topics and tag #WeStartedTheConvo! (if on private, email us a screenshot)
Read on for important considerations as winter and the holidays come around, and resources on starting and having the conversation…
As the holidays roll around, the weather gets cold, and we continue social distancing and other safety measures, youth may be spending even more time at home and with family. DSHN Youth Advisors shared stresses that arise around the holidays: larger family gatherings may put youth in the situation of being expected to hug or talk to family members even if they aren't comfortable with it, and may require them to navigate conversations that feel invasive, overly careful, or offensive in other ways.
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It's important that youth know they have the right to set boundaries and for others to respect them, and close family members can model these behaviors and help them maintain their own boundaries.
Parent/caregiver responses model acceptable behavior to youth, and offer the chance to help your child feel safe, respected, and like they can trust and look up to you… Here are some ways you might do this:
- asking for consent before hugging a family member
- repeating your child's boundaries to people who may cross them, and saying something if they do
- asking a family member to lay off the questioning about who they're dating
- we honor that they will share when they feel ready to, and we can show them that they will be accepted when they do regardless of what gender(s) they may be attracted to by using gender neutral language such as 'partner'
- speaking up or changing the topic when a family member says something offensive to the child's lived experience
According to research:
- 38% of teens report that parents are the biggest influence on their decisions about sex, while only 22% say their biggest influence is their friends. [1, 2]
- 87% of teens say it would be easier to delay sex and avoid pregnancy if they could have more open conversations about it with their parents. [1, 2]
- Teens who report having good conversations with their parents about sex are more likely to delay sex, have fewer partners, and use condoms and other birth control when they do have sex. [1, 3, 4]
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Being at home more also means more time for youth and their family members to start conversations about sexual health topics. It's normal to be stressed about how to bring something up or respond to a young person if they do, so we decided to put together a list of resources for starting and having these important conversations. A little information can turn what appear to be awkward and intimidating conversations into opportunities for connection and empowerment.
If that's not enough of a reward, DSHN will send swag to anyone who shares about their conversation and tags #WeStartedTheConvo and @dshn_va. (if on private, email dshn@jmu.edu a screenshot)
In your post or story on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, we welcome you to share whatever you're comfortable with...here are some prompts:
- what sparked/motivated the conversation
- how it felt to talk about this
- what you learned by both listening and informing
- pictures of you both before and after the conversation
- screenshot of a video you watched or a powerful quote that came out of the convo
- a meme with your feelings before and after the convo
- what parents' parents told them about sex vs. what you discussed
This is a great opportunity to celebrate and learn from each other as we have conversations that may be new for many of us!
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Resources for starting the conversation
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Please reach out to dshn@jmu.edu to share resources that would be useful for folks in our network, or for more resources on any specific topic.
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for young people to learn from (share these with the young people in your life!)
for parents, caretakers, and professionals to consult to navigate these conversations with youth
tips for young people to talk with adults in their life
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Tip: Use YouTube's media player controls to make videos more accessible. Find out how at the links below:
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When should we be having these conversations? What are normal behaviors and topics for their age?
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Even considering any atypicalities around physical or psychosocial development, a young person's age indicates important aspects of their stage of sexual development and thus can guide us in facilitating conversations and lessons that are relevant to what they are currently experiencing. Rachel Brown of Virginia League of Planned Parenthood (DSHN Innovation Partner) led a training for our Network around stages of sexual development, what behaviors to expect at different ages, and what differences should be kept in mind as youth with disabilities grow up. Check out the Appropriate Sexual Behaviors by Age handout to get this core info (in under 500 words)!
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Shout out to these orgs for offering accessible sexual health info and guidance for the whole family:
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AMAZE informs kids and adolescents with medically accurate, age-appropriate, affirming, online sex education videos in many languages. They offer great guidance for adults, along with toolkits, lesson plans, and playlists for many skills and topics. Check out the Amaze website and YouTube channel.
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Sex Positive Families provides education and resources that help families raise sexually healthy children using a shame-free, comprehensive, and pleasure-positive approach. Check out the amazing Sex Positive Families resource library and sort by topic, age, ability, and more.
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Planned Parenthood is the nation’s largest provider of sex education, providing evidence-based and affirming information directly and through resources. To look into their teaching and trainings, connect with your state's Planned Parenthood (in our case, VLPP!)
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October Instagram Highlights
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Throughout October, we celebrated, learned about, and shared information on a number of events. Below are the front slides of selected Instagram posts from this month – click on the image to view the full post and access a full image description (and feel free to give it a like, comment any thoughts you have, share it with peers, and give us a follow 😉)
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Celebrating #ComingOutDay - intersections between the disability and LGBTQ+ communities
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Disclosure & Grief: Disability and Sexuality - notes on coming out from Youth Advisor, Spark
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Disabled Queer Icons from History - celebrating LGBTQ+ & Disability History months
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Herpes Facts - how one gets it, prevents it, treats it, and talks about it, for #HerpesAwarenessDay
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Every month we will highlight a few events relevant to disability-inclusive sexual health and education. Follow our Google Calendar to view these and many more events, updated often!
Are you aware of or hosting an event you think would be relevant? Send/forward event info to dshn@jmu.edu!
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DSHN Partner, PEATC, is hosting sexual health workshops for youth with disabilities and their parents/caregivers:
- The parent/guardian workshop is a 1-time session focused on helping parents communicate with their young person about sexual health and wellness. This session will be held in-person in Portsmoth, VA on Monday, Nov. 29 from 5-7pm. Register for the parent workshop here!
- The youth workshop consists of 3 one-hour sessions and covers a different sexual health and wellness topic in each lesson. These 3 lessons are part of a larger 10 lesson series. These sessions will be held on Zoom from 6:30-7:30pm ET - dates and topics listed below. Register for the student workshop series here!
- Tuesday, Nov. 23 - Consent and Body Rights
- Tuesday, Nov. 30 - Get Away and Tell
- Monday, Nov. 6 - Healthy Relationships
Virginia Sexuality Network
- Sign up to join the VA Sexuality Network!
- Register for their quarterly meeting on Nov. 8 from 4-5:30pm - will feature D. M. Maynard speaking on how educators can support trans, non-binary, and gender questioning students). It's especially important we learn to include and support queer and trans identifying individuals, and these identities are even more common in the disability community, according to research!
Mad Hatter Wellness
Conversations and Community: Decision Making - Tuesday, Nov. 30 from 3:30-4:15pm
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