Ease's courses for youth and adults with disabilities focus on navigating and being healthy in relationships - platonic, romantic, and sexual. This is because Ease founders Arlene Lechner and Melissa Hochberg know that "everybody wants a relationship, a friend, someone to talk to, to care about, and to care about them." They weave consent into everything, discussing it every week because it's "so important in relationships" and try to "help students navigate the whole dating scene, because dating is hard for everyone." They teach many things that we usually aren't explicitly told: meeting friends, finding someone to date, making an online dating profile, safely meeting someone in person, what to do on a 1st, 2nd, 3rd date, how to share about yourself and pace that sharing, setting and respecting boundaries, and so many more. It's also important to acknowledge and discuss "all of the emotions that go with relationships. You can be happy and excited and scared and nervous and embarrassed all at once, and we go over many different emotions and what they might look and feel like."
Melissa and Arlene continuously emphasize how essential these topics and skills are for everyone, not just those with disabilities. They recognize patterns that arise with their clients and offer information to support students who, for example, often "miss social cues or hyper focus on one person or one relationship." Ease classes talk at length about signs and behaviors of healthy and unhealthy relationships, how to fight fair, and how to break up if the relationship isn't working. They make sure to offer handouts to all students so they can "look back and refresh their memories... because they might hear all this stuff about relationships, but if they're not in one, they're not going to retain it in the same way."
There have been a few couples who have taken the class together! "One couple would talk to each other for like two hours after each class about how they felt about it, what they thought, what they were comfortable with, what they agreed with, and what they didn't." Another student referred her new boyfriend to their class. While taking the class, another student has adjusted their approach to their current relationship that was moving too fast, asking his teacher to send slides to help guide him. Melissa and Arlene love working with couples and supporting relationships, and uplift the story of their friend's sister Hava and her partner Paul who were interviewed about their marriage for The Atlantic. See the picture of Hava and Paul below!
Resources for Dating and Friendships
Please reach out to dshn@jmu.edu to share resources that would be useful for folks in our network, or for more resources on any specific topic.
Connecting with other people is something many of us enjoy. It's also something that can be kind of confusing because we are never clearly taught how to make friends or date. So, we've compiled a list of resources about dating and making friends when you have disabilities. Disabilities might affect how one makes friends or dates, but doesn't change one's desire for these meaningful relationships.
The following resources are labeled by type as follows: [t] = text [v] = video [a] = audio [l] = list [w] = website
Check out these stretches to relieve lower back stress, tension, and pain.
Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds and maintain slow and steady breathing throughout. Move slowly through all moves and do not extend stretches past the point of comfort.
Cobra StretchStretch the abdomen while stretching and strengthening the muscles of the back. Press feet and hips into the ground as you press through the palms to lift the upper body until arms are straight.
Chair Twist and LiftSafely stretch the lower back from your chair. Keep arm as extended as possible while still feeling comfortable. Keep shoulders back and chest lifted. Twist left, right, then straight overhead. Move slowly.
Cat PoseImprove circulation through the spinal discs. Slowly exhale while rounding the back up towards the ceiling, then slowly exhale while releasing the back to starting position.
Knee TuckStretch through the hips and lower back. Hug both knees to chest while keeping shoulders down and hips close to the floor. Modify to one knee at a time if needed.
Check out these books about love, relationships, and friendships. All starring disabled leads!
Click on the underlined book title to learn more!
Sick Kids In Loveby Hannah Moskowitz.A Junior Library Guild Selection and ALA Sydney Taylor Award Honoree.
Song for a Whale by Lynne Kelly. Schneider Family Book AwardWinner and New York Public Library Best Book of the Year.
Unbroken by Marieke Nijkamp. A collection of short stories. A Junior Library Guild Selection and a KirkusBest YA Book of 2018.
Get a Life Chloe Brownby Talia Hibbert. Best Romance of 2019 by Kirkus, Apple, and Amazon & Best of November by Essence Magazine and Washington Post.
Upcoming Events
Every month we will highlight a few events relevant to disability-inclusive sexual health and education. Follow our Google Calendar to view these and many more events, updated often!
Are you aware of or hosting an event you think would be relevant? Send/forward event info to dshn@jmu.edu!
Sex Positive Families hosting its Growing Into You! puberty workshop
This gender-inclusive virtual workshop provides a chance for families to learn alongside others about the many changes that happen in the tween years. The live session is interactive; engaging; for and about all genders and bodies; help families connect on these very human things with less taboo or awkwardness.
The ARC presents A Life Like Yours Benefit Breakfast
The ARC of Northern Virginia's 4th annual benefit breakfast returns to in-person this year commemorating March as Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month.
March 23, 7:30-9am EST; Hilton McLean Tysons Hotel; McLean, Va
